3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Randomize