5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
