Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have post one night stand depression
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