honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize