party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
