this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
