4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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