I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
3pm strippers are depressing
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
