I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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