Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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