chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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