she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im holly from the hills drunk
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
