I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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