I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
