They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
