the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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