You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
