I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You were trust falling into bushes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
