I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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