TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
