Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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