I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
