It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
