Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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