Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
