This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
