And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
