Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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