There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
