My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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