But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
