They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize