I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
