Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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