I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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