well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
