Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
COCAINE IS GR8
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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