Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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