Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
