What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
