At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
