I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
