I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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