Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
