Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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