turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
