dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
