uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
