Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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