Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
