I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
