then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
