In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize