You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
