Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
