I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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