We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
