My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
