Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize