i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
