She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
