Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We have started to decorate penises.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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