question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
no you cant smoke seaweed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
