I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
