I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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