Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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