I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize