The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
