AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
