I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize