just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
