You just made me feel so damn special
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
