I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
