"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
