The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
