this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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