she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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