DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
