I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
